Top Five Subway Stations Ready for New Sponsored Names

It seemed like such a good idea at the time. via wwward0 on Flickr

A bit of afternoon fun 😃

Governor Cuomo has been hard at work to get this whole Summer of Hell thing taken care of, and today he announced a program that really gets to the heart of the matter: Corporate renaming of subway stops to fund cleanup and repairs.

Who among us hasn't lamented the complex system of stations being named for nearby roads? While sweating it out underground on crowded platforms and in stopped train cars, we've all suffered the mindbending confusion of exiting "Franklin Avenue" station and finding ourselves on Franklin Avenue. We've been baffled at locations like "14th Street" or "34th Street". Numbering systems always pale in comparison to simple patterns like memorizing corporate logos on your morning commute.

Cuomo's adopt-a-station program is sure to whip this crumbling infrastructure of a 100-year-old transit system into shape and have it easily serving ever-growing number of subway riders. In support of the plan, we've put together five suggestions for stations that could use the public-private funding agreement only a loving corporation can provide:

Update: Truth is stranger than fiction! A few days after the announcement, adult site RedTube submitted their subway sponsorship ideas to Gov. Cuomo, complete with cheeky double-entendres.

Myrtle Ave

There might be some difficulty adapting to the new system, so let's stick with sound-alike sponsors: Myrtle Ave stop? Now you're taking the J/M/Z to the Turtle Wax stop.

Northern Boulevard

Your ride will be soft as a cloud as the E Train pulls into the Quilted Northern® Bath Tissue station.

Hunter's Point

An artsy neighborhood that isn't home to much actual hunting, this 7 Train stop is about to get a taste of camouflage with the new Realtree® Outdoors station. Stand clear the hanging deer heads.

Times Square

This one was named after the New York Times way back in 1907, and they aren't even based there anymore! Time to hand over the naming rights to someone with some cash, so direct any wandering tourists to the Golden Nugget Casino station. With a flair for bright lights and a location in Atlantic City, might as well hand over control and let them complete Times Square's gaudy transformation.

Flushing Ave

Really, this one's too easy. Naming rights are sure to start a bidding war amongst bathroom fixture manufacturers. Might we suggest adding some decorative fountains at street level?

Which station would you like to see renamed?